my palms are sweaty, my heart is racing, my mind is running a thousand miles a minute.   i pick up the pen and sign my life away, and for half a second, i have a mini orgasm.    i tell myself that i’ll eat ramen for the next week to justify my splurge on these goddamn shoes.   or the bag that cost almost half my rent.  or this dress that brings a tear to a grown man’s eye.  this jacket that i’d gladly give my right arm for.  this purchase that i now call mine.  i. die.

call it what you want it, im a fuckin’ shopaholic.

i have whats called an addictive personality.  i find something i like, have it aud nauseum for the next 7 months, then find something new and get over it. for example…  toyose’s kim chee fried rice.  it’s been a weekly staple in my diet for the last year.  I still havent found anything that has caught me as heavy which is fine by me.

most women like to shop.   my friends LOVE IT.  for a select few its an addiction.  its the itch in ur wallet when u just got paid and wonder what stores you can stop at on the 17 mile route home.   its the anticipation of typing in topshop.com to ur navigation bar and seeing what’s new and what’s affordable.  its the absolute ecstatic victory when you’ve been searching and searching and searching and searching for this one item that seems to be sold out everywhere and then…. there it is, staring at you, in exactly your size.   you can almost here it saying, “buy me.  wear me.  love me.”

ok maybe its just me.   but there’s something about retail therapy that does the deed, everytime.    i gave up shopping for lent one year and it was the hardest 40 days of my life (frankly i’d rather give up breathing.) but it has taught me to be selective in what i spend my money on, and to make sure i get that good good everytime.  do i need it, will it last me, and most importantly, is it WORTH IT?

i’ve cut back a lot and proudly call myself a recessionista.    i don’t mind swapping clothes w/ friends or borrowing shit, and it helps that most of us are the same size.  after all, “one mans trash is another man’s treasure” and there ain’t no shame in my game.   but every once in a while, the allure of something new and shiny just can’t be ignored.   feel me??  =)

i’m probably gonna get a lot of shit for saying this, but… i think the person who single handedly glamourized money, riches, and fame is a fat balding british man by the name of Robin Leach. 

this yellow rat bastard brought “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” into middle class homes and put into our heads the necessity for bigger tv’s, pools in the backyard, and crystal with dinner.  paired with easily accessible credit, the booming art of hip-hop and its flambuoyant rappers, and the appeal of drugs, sex and rock and roll and we have dug ourselves into a muthafuckin  recession.

a recession so bad that my friends who were pulling in a 6 figure income 2 years ago have had to foreclose their homes and move back in with their parents.  that my brother has had to take a forced semester break from school because the classes he needed to fulfill his GE have been cut.  that my credit card companies have raised interest that i needed to get rid of them completely.  

and yet there are still people out there who FRONT like they got it like that.   but maybe they do and its their perrogative to spend their money as they please.   but is blowing 3k on a blinged out jesus piece gonna get u anything but some sideways glances and a desperate fucker scheming a way to jack it from u?  probably not. 

we’re all in the same boat!  this recession has hit me hard.   i make a pretty decent living, but with rent, a baby, school loans, 2 car notes and utilities i have little to spend on myself.  i still feel like im living paycheck to paycheck and adonis ain’t even in school yet.   so we cut back on shopping and traveling and going out.   i spend days with my friends vegging out on my couch rather than at the bar.   we opt for a homecooked meal rather than a fancy dinner out.   clothes are recycled, and sample sales and christmas deals turn out to be our very best friends.  

surprisingly,  we  still have just as much fun… with the jobless, the homeless, and the uneducated alike.   cuz even tho we still got champagne wishes and caviar dreams, we’re content with beer and fried chicken. 

when you don’t have much,  you realize you don’t need much.

and once you realize this, none of that shit matters.  bringing it back to basics opens opportunities.   so many of my friends have taken unemployment and turned it into FUNemployment.   not working for the man has given them the chance to work for themselves and they are much, much happier for it. 

not being able to make it rain ain’t no thang when ur doing exactly what u love to do.  i truly believe that in doing so, the money will come naturally.   but maybe by then, we’ll be past wishing for champagne and dreaming about caviar,  cuz we been done had it for lunch.  

money can be a bitch, or money can be your bitch.    so here’s my advice for makin the latter ring true for you.  cut the fat and the bullshit.  stop lying to urself about what you “need” and always always always save for a rainy day. 

now excuse me while i go return those shoes i “needed” for my birthday.

ok chickadees….

my oldest and dearest friend, Steph, has ventured out to do something she is passionate about. For the love of everything vintage, i present to you STEPH’S CLOSET.

Here’s an excerpt from her blog, on her beginning…

In a nut shell, this is what I found:
I want my own business – to manage and create an establishment beyond what I ever imagined. I dream to sing, to study music, and to teach it from my soul. To make people feel the words in song different than any other person. I want to have the drive that will achieve my dream and the drive to have a plan to make it all
happen.

…THUS I created STEPH’s closet – Vintage clothing selling for cheap…

I know I jumped the gun, skipped a couple of euphoric idea generating moves that eventually got me to start up selling the clothes…BUT basically, this is where it all began. As I sell each piece of clothing, my closet – OR my soul – makes more sense. I have created an experience for my customers that exemplifies key things – personal assistance, unique choice of clothing pertaining specifically to the person, the feeling of friendship and the need to help them feel good about themselves.

I’m in LOVE. And it’s amazing that this is happening.

do not sleep on this one. check her out! she will blow ur mind, make u look fly, and satisfy your soul. this girl is like… chicken soup for my life! love u steph..

***EDITOR’S NOTE*** – wow, this post has only been up for an hour or so and i’ve already gotten so many responses! THANK YOU GUYS!!! here’s Steph’s Closet’s Facebook page. Hit her up here for any requests or questions. She also holds sales out of her closet for now, so if you’re in the Bay.. HOLLA!!!

alright alright ALRIGHT!!!!

as u know, i contribute to the Hellz Bellz blog, What The Hellz. if you dont know about Hellz, edu-fuckin-cate urself cuz Lanie and crew should NOT be slept on.

well, they’re comin to SF!!!  holla at a hella Hellz sample sale!  Afterwards, i’ll met you at cha cha cha for a pitcher of sangria.  

Current mood: fiending for the “new shoe” smell

“you only have 2 feet. why do you need so many shoes?” –daddy

Shoes are not JUST shoes. they are…in 4 words.. sex in a box. Mind numbing, spine tingling, decadent SEX IN A BOX.

i discovered my passion for shoes at an early age..when having my first pair of light-up L.A. Gears made me feel like the flyest, illest, lil girl in the world! Since then i’ve realized that retail therapy really does cure just about anything… (shopaholic to the max i tell u). And throughout my therapy sessions i’m always finding myself more and more in the shoe department. Ive also noticed that upon meeting someone new, i look straight down at their footwear… i’ve lusted after black patent leather, green canvas, yellow polka dots, espadrilles, cork, bows and straps and you can see my conquests in the closet.

plain and simple.. i’m a shoe girl. i aint one of those who will put a 2nd mortgage on my house just to have the latest pair of manolos, but i AM one of those who will buy a pair of shoes that i might never wear “just because.” i believe you can never have too many shoes. EVER. i also believe that your shoes make your entire outfit!!

for example..lets take the simple staple outfit of skinny jeans and a wife beater and go through the shoe choices.

1. flip-flops or gladiators and ur ready to lounge in the backard for a bbq
2. vans (but they look like sneakers) and ur ready to go grocery shopping
3. those dunks that you’ve been eyeing, and lets go to “doin it in the park” this weekend
4. strappy espadrilles and your ready for lunch at your favorite restaurant
5. t-strap peep toes and lets go to the club!
6. knee high boots and ur ready for a night on the fuckin town.

So thats a 6:1 ratio for shoes/clothes. And you need as many shoes as you do moods depending on how you FEEL.. correct!?According to a recent study by ShopSmart magazine, the average American woman owns 19 pairs of shoes, 15% owning 30 or more pairs. 19 pairs of shoes! try 19… times like 25… I got shoes that are just like my “skinny jeans”… just a half size too small, but i wont get rid of em bc they are just waay too fabulous.

so whatever. call it ridiculous. call it an obsession… im a firm believer in a lot of things… one of them being a woman’s right to shoes.

Life is one big road with lots of signs… i would just rather walk through it with a fabulous pair of peep toes on my feet…